Gender biased..

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Its been a while ..I haven't written anything...Busy as always hope all my friends are doin good..
Everyday we hear new stuff ,, new issues showing up.. I kinds feel people are biased .. when it comes to genders.. we are one who make barriers n we are the one who want them apart now
I always felt and strongly feel women MUST n MUST  compete in every field .. there have been place where it was a challenge and still women have did unexpectedly. Well ..
BUT hold on to your horses ..I sometimes feel we when talk only women n women somewhere we are biased ,, situations vary and circumstances makes a difference..
We all know when a female is born as a first child .. parent s n in-laws wish "OH Boy" where are you!!..But a pretense is there like .. "we are happy very happy"..
well some genuine people might be there .. no hard feelings please..
But then its said ."its a ritual girls get married n leave parents .. we give them birth but they have to go and stay with  husband  forever "
..I would like to correct here for those who carry this kinda feeling .. when a boy gets married or even before marriage would say he already belongs to his wife .. after marriage if things don't work with with parents they live separate ..independent ... so a couple stays independently

so parents of boy are alone .. too
now girls parents are alone too
so where is the difference?
I mean unnecessary every time you see its written "betiyaan paraya dhan"
after all these betiyaa are also one of those who make boys fall in same category..

... I being a mom of two boys .. strongly feel .. boys n girls have same right .. why do we expect so much?? I mean respect to parents is a feeling by itself not forced upon .. it should be mutual .. son or daughter .. none is bound by ritual .. its society n our old school thinking makes it worse.


I came to US .. several years back .. stayed with in-laws as things worked pretty well and still its working.. my mom migrated to Canada she lives half an hour away .. I feel I get best of both the world my parents and in-laws both .. I am not parayadhan( someone's property)

We judge our kids by society not by our values.. make them strong ..if relationships work keep yourself n others happy otherwise RESPECT stands first in both ways mutually.
Girls have never been someone else property . they are humans too .. same as boys ..
don't pass jugements PLZzz
we are towards 21 century!

.. its a lovely poem though biased again!

"BETI" KA "ANOKHA"
BAYAAN ..!

Dear Papa....

"Beti" bankar ayi hu ma-baap ke jivan me,

basera hoga kal mera kisi aur ke aangan me,

kyu ye reet "RAB" ne banai hogi,...

"kehte" hai aaj nahi to kal tu "parai" hogi,

"Dekhe" janam "paal-poskar" jisne hame bada kiya,

aur "waqt" aya to unhi hatho ne hame "vida" kia,

"Tut" ke bikhar jati he humari "zindagi" wahi,

par phir bhi us "bandhan" me pyar mile "zaruri" to nahi,

kyu "rishta" humara itna "Ajib" hota hai,

kya bas yahi "betiyo" ka "Nasib" hota he??

"Papa" Says"...
**************
Bahut "chanchal" bahut
"Khushnuma" si hoti hai "BETIYA".

"Nazuk" sa "dil" rakhti hai "Masoom" si hoti hai "BETIYA".

"Baat" baat par roti hai
"Nadan" si hoti hai "BETIYA".

"Rehmat" se "bharpoor"
"Khuda" ki "Nemat" hai "BETIYA".

"Ghar" mehak uthta hai
Jab "muskrati" hai "BETIYA".

"Ajeeb" si "Taklif" hoti hai
Jab "dusre" ghar jati hai "BETIYA".

"Ghar" lagta hai suna suna "Kitna" rula ke "jati" hai "BETIYA"

"Khushi" ki "jhalak"
"Babul" ki "ladli" hoti hai "BETIYA"

Ye "Hum" nahi "kehte"

Yeh toh "RAB " kehta hai. . .Ke Jab main bahut khush hota hu toh "janam" leti hai
"PYARI SI BETIYA"

Gender bias.

last week I was at wedding (the mehandi ritual)...

  
these are one of our clients which I had to oblige ,an absolute strangers to me ..I always end up getting in an awkward situation not knowing how to approach unknown people and mingle with crowd.
....Gender biased society is everywhere ...I was surprised when I heard from the bride "we are seven sisters"and two brothers .
...This is a very pretty girl may be twenty two or less who was the bride and she told me four sisters are married ....and she is somewhere in between...
this girl reminds me of  Indian actress Rani Mukherjee even prettier then her with beautiful  eyes and long hair ...the guy she is getting married is a physician,there might be at least ten years age difference ,she appeared to be very young...
..I was taken aback looking at the house ...which was good size and well decorated ..But why so many kids? jus for boys ...Sania(bride) told me
'my parents at last found their happiness..."(I guess they couldn't find in these pretty looking girls)...
Talking of Sanias mom who was also very young ...something in late forties or less ...seemed like she got married early and a kid every year..she had lot of patience(I would kill myself with so many kids)was smiling and very humble to everyone.
I never understood this fundamental of getting a baby boy even after nine or ten daughters......look at the amount of money required to raise and educate one professional and then to run a house with nine kids its so darn difficult....not to forget amount of work at home ,its surprising these are educated parents...physicians and looking for baby boy after seven girls...what's use of all the studies and professional degree if basic thinking is of that stone age..
 Gender bias is so deeply ingrained that the day couple gets married the discrimination starts...the family will rejoice with a news of baby boy as compared to baby girl..and let me tell you its still very prevalent....
I have seen a divorce case on grounds that she delivered twins (girls)and considered as jinx by immediate family,kicked out of the house literally ..this was considered to be an educated affluent family ..
Gender bias is deeply rooted in the society. In fact, over the years it has seeped in through the walls and pillars, like a monsoon mold. And no one can change this fact...

these redundant and obsolete customs are still being followed  because we, the females, let them happen. Until someone stands up for herself and gives a resolute 'no', things will not change and let me tell you a women has to support a women rather then being jealous and creating barriers.

are girls less then boys? educate them and give them an upper hand they are better in every way ..they will surpass all males...they more lovable and caring for their parents they don't ask or snatch but believe in giving..
..its never too late ...give them their due respect!

Ranjha..

"...heer nu lagye khere ...ranjhe reh gaye majaha char de"(heer was married ..and ranjha was left grazing the cattles...)the etrnal love story "Heer Ranjha"

 

In modern times where every girl considers herself  Heer( the epic beauty) ..and boys as ranjhe..( dude of all times)

the reason I picked up this topic...every other guy you talk to behave like ranjha...when their love turns sour..

recently I was talking to one of my online friends who was very upset;tho this is not the first time I heard this....I am surprised how one sided love plays its role ....and then blame the girls for not being loyal...I mean if you have guts why not ask her directly so that you know the answer rather then sulking ...or like slow poisoning your mind against the poor girl who never admitted she was in love ....

 talking of all the Heer's ...of modern times they change with time even if it was a stable relationship...lured by money or looks ..girls change with season too....which emotionally destroys the other partner....and they behave exactly like ranjha's..dirty clothes,no shave..no dressing sense ,lost in thoughts and life on edge!!

.....its  a known fact ,if  love is not given a marital status...anything is bound to happen...its like hit and trial method!even after marriage there are chances of Adultery or cheating but at least there is some legal document or parents or relatives that might help...

.....if she opted out of this ,then you move on ,otherwise its like hell ..life is to move.. and our xperiences makes us wiser...

to be ranjha or behave like one is very simple ....but to be poised and calm not reacting but moving to wards a better life partner is  something more constructive...

God Bless!!