Indian bride in foriegn land.

..This blog is dedicated to all those girls who getting married outside india coming to foreign land
when I talk about girls from india getting married here in US ,UK ,Canada ,Australia ..it should be kept in mind that marriage is where you have to spend more time with partner and leave the amenities back home gracefully..
everyone likes and loves their parents its but natural and sense of belongings always lives their in heart but for girls unfortunately she has to make another world of her own with her spouse and family ..and for this it needs time and patience ..sometimes years .. in many cases its hard to go back and forth to meet parents and attend so called friends or relatives and their weddings..
Parents also in this case need to be mature as the first priority is their daughter and her so called in-laws family they need to  see she settles down first before moving her back and forth. Many a times parents emotional attachment spoils the whole scene and it leads to friction in the family.

I came across many newly married couples where girls go to meet their parents in india and make their stay comfortable for at least two to three months ..leaving husband back home as he has job and work to do..
The boy is alone home and he with his friends have good time in evening ..moving round to clubs bars and all other entertainment places .. ..both the partners have their own comfort zone now,,

The girl is happy with her parents ..parents are happy to see their daughter ..she spends leisure time with friends and shopping .. not worried of any cooking or cleaning loves india even more then before .. dads little girl has dad s money ..a chauffeur driven car no tension and life is fun for three months,
The boys is happy with friends ,booze and visiting nastiest places .. enjoying every night one or other girl with friends.. he feels free now at least three months..
Now the reality shows up
After three months
The girl is back home ..the house looks deserted and piles of work sitting for her... The husband comes home late night after work .. she feels miserable .. hates foreign land even more .. has no domestic help .. "no maid" and no money to squander ..
there is argument every night as to why not go back home shift to India she can be with mom and dad ..he loves his work and always wanted to settle abroad ..she hates him hates whole damn world ..loves her parents only.. she looks for divorce..
..Trust me this is reality and it happens very often here in US.. parents need to be mature if they want their daughter to be married to Nri then its taken for granted she cannot visit more often and moreover the stay should be not more then three weeks with husband to keep marriage going and peace for everyone
Here I would blame girls more then boys as one needs to understand the term marriage before indulging to a lifetime commitment...

spam..

...its was one of those afternoons (holidays)..n I was at home...my cousin from Canada was at home too for vacation.
I got a call ...
Me :hello
him:is it Herman?
Me:(I thought of those tel -marketing people ,they suck) before I could say she is not at home...
him: I am calling from treasury department and wanted to talk to Herman..is it her?
Me: yes go ahead this is Harman.
him: I wanted to let you know that you have been selected for $ 5,999from US treasury department in one of our lucky draws granted by President Obama for Indian Americans who have no fault in their credit history and have been a good tax payer all through these years.This proves them to be good citizens.
Me (feeling so proud of myself at this hour)
I asked ... okay... thanks for letting me know so whats the procedure so  is it check or cash?
Him: you have to take a pledge first ..you will not use use this money for any illegal means  no drugs or any illegal arms or ammunition's
ME: I will use this money jus n jus for my personal use only and not for any illegal purpose.
Him: so gimme your cell number!
Me:why?
Him: lady you will go to western union jus now and show your US ID and other papers required to collect the cash ,so to walk you through the procedure I need to talk to you through your cell when you are there.
ME: ohk fine ,but whats your name and number  your id I need to know before goin ahead so that I know whom I am talking to..
Him:My name is Thomas James ..US id blah blah blah :)
I looked at the clock it was 3pm I had to go to the salon had an appointment but so stuck here...anyways lets get this money first ..I thought..
Him: so as you reach there call me and I will tell you what to do and how to get the cash.
ME:do I need to pay anything upfront?
Him:yes $300 and that will be refunded immediately ..when you get cash.
ME: I thought why take money upfront if you give me back immediately? whts the purpose of paying that money upfront? but said nothing to him.
..I kicked my cousin s butt .. who was smiling at me and told her..lotto ..time to partyyyyyyyyy
But lets call hubby dear and give him the news too before we go to western union..
 called hubby at work...
Hubby :yaa say..
me: we have a cash from US treasury granted by Obama for paying taxes and having no fault in credit history its a lucky draw..and my name is there.. among Indian Americans...I got an official call ..
hubby : I could hear him laughing ... ok tell me ..why do you get these kinds of calls only ..why not me?
Me:okay I don't know but I have to go to western union and collect  cash..
Him.. that guy whosoever he is ..give me his number he is trying to con you..
and Obama is not our MAMA (moms brother) to distribute cash like that ... this guy will extract money from you and nothing in return...
Me: but I have his id and phone number and official details he gave it to me...jus note it down ..its REAL.
Him : give me few minutes and I will take out all the details and let you know..

In between the same guy Thomas James was calling me I could see his id on my land-line,I dint answer the call...


my hubby called me on my cell and told me there are many cases reported this month of this spam ..so don't answer anyone and don't go anywhere.
..and let me talk to him when I come home.

feeling so sad n bad lost all money :)) ...rightly judged by hubby why are these fake calls for me only? 
But Thank God I am saved!

( let me tell you most of the fake callers ask for you bank details n a/c numbers but in this case it sounded real ..could not be mistaken as all official ids were given extension number with pledge and background noise which sounded like office..and when I called back it had recording officially made to sound real..the only thing which made me surprised was$300 ;)

Junk mail!

 

I get lot of hilarious stuff in my mails.....I sometimes think am I an idiot to get these kind of mails...All JUNK!!
now most of the names are one of its kinds..like Wicton xempe (the mail says)
mam,
I have huge deposits in my bank,I was wondering what should I do?(this was an e-mail)
(I wanted to say"throw it in the trash Can,best place)
another one,
I am very poor ,on streets... totally bankrupt ..please help me with just $20 hope its not big amount as all of my past friends are helping me ,it will solve my purpose....and then sad story sob sob sob!!!
another one..
Hey you won a million dollar,now let us know how you want your payments to be made(I was okay but I never had a lotto ticket)...we generally pay in easy payments of $50000 each ,if its good for you(lol)now can we get your bank information and all fine details ...(sure,so it will be in a reverse manner,my bank will be empty in seconds)

Hey do you want to be a millionaire with just fifty bucks ,invest now ,best opportunity...fill these forms join us...I went to link ....it was all fine details..including SSN and bank information...
Trust me all these e-mails look real..with name of companies and telephone numbers ,even people are there to answer your calls..
I tried calling one number,,,they said"you are the lucky winner ...A grand prize of 1 million dollar,my hubby sitting next to me ..smiling ...I said"so when should I come to collect my money??"they said..NO,not personally ..we transfer in your checkin a/c ..or savings ..so we need your routing and bank a/c number..plus their is  a seminar at 6:30 am on Sunday with breakfast,we will publicly announce the winner ....I said "ok(thinking at back of my mind publicly announcing biggest fool of the year)....But I don't have any bank a/c "..then you cannot get money...you have lost it!
Few days back I got a letter from a Car dealership with a car key..."it was Porsche "it said "you have WON this"!!the letter had a beautiful picture..I imagined myself driving  a hatchback ...smiling at my stars..I said"GOD TUSHI GREAT HO" (god you are great)everybody  looking at me so happy with the letter and key....BUT I when I read the whole letter it said "offer expires"***...it was past the due date..and now you can get a brand new Porsche if you sell your existing car......another Fake one!!

these are all fake mails which appear to be very genuine! they just try to squeeze money "... in this trap my cousin lost$300 which was withdrawn every month for no reason when we called the number it didn't exist ..this  existed few months back ,one thousand dollar was withdrawn by the time we put a stop payment with the bank..it was so fast.... we thought it was for  auto insurance....but came to know when auto insurance which was real ..was charging separately!!
A thumb rule...never never give your bank information to anyone unless you are sure...these are all fraudulent transactions appeared to be genuine!!

Deal!

..."Seal the Deal" is a very common term used in Corporates ...But what if its used in Matrimony...
kinda surprising??
Dowry system is very popular in India...it was there ever since we are Born but the standards have been raised or..Greed has grown with inflation or Peer pressure.....
I was actually surprised when one of my online friends who is all set to get married ,looking for a girl in matrimonial sites or otherwise ...told me that he got an offer for fifteen lacs,Cash as deal with rest of the stuff ...as the girl is not so Good looking...so the offer is made by girls parents and not him...
When I asked him ..why he is stooping so low?kinda shaking his Soul,I actually showed him the mirror!! .. money for a partner of lifetime ,I asked ..he said ...its not him ..but his people at home who are interested ..looking at the money...but he refused as he is not interested in girl or money....
this is not the first time I heard this....there are numerous stories ...
Gauri was one of the girls in our neighborhood in India...got married where the deal was set to twenty two lacs...it happened recently.... the Guy is frm Gurgoan in IBM and his family has actally priced him in the Market...Gauri is good looking girl working in a bank as ABM ...but her parents said...We had to make a deal elsewhere too...so at least these people are educated..
I would ask here from girls parents...
what kind of eduction is this?
1)Why is there so much desperation...to get rid of your own kid?
I mean same amount of money spent on her studies or some better professional course ..where she is self sufficient ...and lay ground rules for getting your child married to some decent people... so much greed..what guarantee is there that these people will be satisfied with twenty two lacs....
2) why do we forget that we are the people who make laws of society and later repent on them...no wonder why female infanticide is there....Coz Greed cannot be fulfilled and people are gender biased now....
And guys when you ask for Dowry ,think how can you have a peaceful married life ..where one partner will always have hatred for squeezing money out of others pocket...
..We actually give Ideas to people that this is possible and marriages can be easy..in this form...

its a SHAME!!!

time..

I have been so busy last week ..with work and some guests we had from LA... sometimes its difficult to steal some time amidst of all the work in front of you..
Blogging is one good passion of mine ,even if I have few minutes I would spend to read or write something..looking few years back when I was at university ..life as a student and coming home for vacations I had good time to kill...moving around on kinetic and reading all Danielle Steele latest ..one book a day..with pile of novels and magazines and all reading stuff on study table.. .. Another way of killing time was watching regional movies with English subtitles ..especially during my exams ..I always had a myth that if I watch one movie ,my score will go up..mom usually said .."you are an expert in killing time"..but my results always brought smile on her face and twinkle in her eyes for which she never minded ..my "time killing" ..
I came to know exactly meaning of time and its value in US.. how punctuality works and people run for time.. Time is MONEY..every single minutes pays..I am on my toes ..from seven am to ten pm and I am so use to it now that if my day is not busy I feel something missing in my world..
Talking of time we recently had a time change DST..(day light saving time) It is the practice of advancing clocks so that afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically clocks are adjusted forward one hour near the start of spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Adding daylight to afternoons benefits retailing, sports, and other activities that exploit sunlight after working hours but causes problems for farming, evening entertainment and other occupations tied to the sun. In Indiana, where part of the state observes DST and part does not, farmers have opposed a move to DST. Farmers, who must wake with the sun no matter what time their clock says, are greatly inconvenienced by having to change their schedule in order to sell their crops to people who observe daylight saving time. Time plays a great factor in this case!!
Let's be honest here: we're all a bunch of social media addicts. We're junkies. Whether it's a new Twitter app, a new Facebook feature, or a new social anything service, we're all over it. But we may not be the norm... looking at busy schedules..
Time is precious commodity ,stuff life is made of..

"Never be misled by the number of days in a year. Their number merely represents the time that is potentially available to us. If it is misspent or wasted, it all comes to nothing. What if you were told you had one hour to live? Wouldn’t you believe you had very little time? Is there much difference between an hour and a day? A day and a week? A week and a month? A month and a year? A year and a decade? A decade and a lifetime? Understanding how little time we have available is the beginning of wisdom"

Its one life,but should be well spent...

some good quotes..
William Shakespeare
Better three hours too soon, than one minute too late.

Bertrand Russell
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

RobertOrben Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Kazi Shams Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst. William Penn Time is a cruel thief to rob us of our former selves. We lose as much to life as we do to death. Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey All my possessions for a moment of time.

Brian Tracy

There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.

The time quotes reveal to you the importance of each and every second that you live in your life. These quotes inspire you to value time and thereby live your life to the fullest so that later you have no chance to repent. These famous sayings also remind you of the fact that it is always better to wind up your works well in time before it actually slips out of your hands
period

Money..matters!!!

“money is necessary to live”. But how much money is truly needed?it depends on the life an individual desires. It can be food clothing and shelter, or as extravagant as luxury houses and all the fine things....Many are born and very fortunate with money all around when they come to this world ,its inherited money but most of us work hard and earn by working hours even night shifts to support our self or our families for good and comfortable living.... when people say I don't want money or money doesn't matter its an absolute lie ..I wanna ask those people ..do you wanna be saint or monk...living in hills .... money is important..end of the day everybody wants a home and good food to eat.. forget all other luxuries..Money motivates a person..encourages to show better results and succeed in life... many a times confidence is built with cash in hand.. All basic Amenities are with money...if we don't have a single penny..survival is difficult.. ....I was very fortunate growing up as I was able to enjoy the finer things in life. I always wore good clothes, ate at nice restaurants, and was able to travel ... never seen financial crisis...But many in this world are not that fortunate... I remember an incident ..we were expecting some guests ..a couple ,when we were in India...they were suppose to come inn on weekend ,but didn't show up,we called ..but there was no reply...they arrived two days later to our place..when we asked them,they had a story to tell...They were travelling by train and on their way at a remote area in uttarpradesh at a station,train stopped his wife stepped out to throw some apple peels ..and she saw ..kids fighting for apple peels.. looking for leftover food in the garbage..they were so hungry and seemed like hadn't seen food from many days....So the couple decided to stay overnight at a guest house on railway station ..and feed hungry kids by buying enough food from the station canteen to help them for at least two days...so much desperation for food wasn't seen by them before... ... life.. gives up without money... SO..before throwing food,think about people who cannot afford one meal a day... Like in Detroit (Michigan )we can see lot of people standing near the Canadian border asking for help with boards in their hands "I am hungry"..or "Help Me" Talking of money ...I am talking about basic needs..food clothing and shelter,devoid of other luxuries... since money gets us into routine to work ,go out meet people ,improve our knowledge and an urge to learn something new.. Happiness cannot be termed as money..its not necessary that we ought to have lots of money to be happy.. Money is only a tool to assist with our lifestyle but it is not the source of our happiness. Focus on being happy, and you will suddenly find that you have enough money....sometimes people loose their family life....to earn more and more..and end up getting nothing in life just big fat bank balance... ......Not too long ago I heard a story about a man who chose to work the long hard hours in order to live an extravagant life when he retired. This man was in his mid 50’s and has lived his past 30 years in an office behind a desk. He thought it would be well worth while as he pictured him and his wife traveling the world with no financial concerns in their future. Unfortunately, this man was diagnosed with cancer years before he ever thought of retiring. He did not survive this tragic disease, and left his family with money, but not many memories as he was always working so hard. This man was also never able to enjoy what he had earned as he focused too much on his future..... If we don't understand our relationship to money in this culture, then I think we're doomed. If you don't know how you are toward money and really understand that relationship, you simply don't know yourself. Period. ...."I don't like money very much, but it calms my nerves." Money makes us unjustifiably feel that we're better and more important than we really are. When money can make you feel humble, then I think it's really useful. But if it fattens your ego, which it often does, then look out....ITS NOT REAL MONEY.. Stinking rich ...millionaires are everywhere,The incredible pace of change triggered by modern technology has affected how people acquire wealth. There's no precedent in human experience for the speed, scale, or age at which people today can get incredibly wealthy. When everything is quick, fast and easy, a certain part of ourselves is fed while another part withers away..... To conclude...money is one important part that runs the world but at personal level.. with every good thing ,evils are attached... recently..Tiger woods (golf player)..who makes like 100 million ..was caught cheating his wife..and news flashed everywhere .... though later he agreed and apologized for his adultery... ..but respect or dignity cannot be purchased....with lots of money...