Blessings!

...when we talk about blessings ..we think about about almighty only ..BUT to me I think our parents blessings are more precious then anything on this whole wide world.

Parents can be our own parents or in-laws too..

Now when it comes to in-laws ..it gets harder to digest for some people as why should we be good to in-laws when they are not good to us...and the whole issue comes up.. 

In the heat of the moment we end up doing all that which is something that become s a curse for life time unknowingly ...

Many incidents happen ,some we hear ,some we see ...But when we see with our own eyes its hard to believe how the saying gets true to every word"What goes around,comes around"

(its a real story ...I wont name anyone here)

  ..I met this lady couple of yrs ago..who was very well-off and lived in a big house in one of the best areas in the city. I came to know she had some issues with her in-laws always due to which one day things went out of proportion and worst thing she threw her in-laws out at midnight...The old parents not knowing where to go at that time of night requested their son to at least let them call one of the friends ..to take a shelter at night ..so they called the friends but before leaving the house the parents were in tears as to they had to see this day in their life and such a shameless kid they had... whom they made an Engineer giving best family values and all comforts of life was today not ready to keep them even for one night.

The boys mom was really hurt and said few words to both of them (son n daughter-in -law)"I am leaving this house and you mark my words ,the way you have insulted us ,this house you will never live ,,,you will loose everything in life you have then looking at her daughter-in-law she said ..the things that make you happy and you are proud of ,you will crave for that but it will never come back ,its my curse!!!

... that night they stayed at one of the friends place and told them the whole story...how their kids behaved..since they were US citizens and were on legal benefits provided to senior citizens ..they thought of renting an apartment and living on their own independently..which they did..

the only problem they had was they couldn't drive and had no license ,, so they told their friends to help them in giving them a ride ...as n when anyone goes for shopping or trip to grocery store.

the old couple made their life comfortable ..and never talked to their son again..

one day... the same daughter -in -law came running to them asking for help as the couple had a fight and she had no place to go with kids... 

they refused and said they have nothing to do with her and their son too.

.... time flies ..slowly the things got worse in case of daughter-in-law and they started facing problems.. at last ..they had to file bankruptcy and then...a separation!!

the same house went on foreclosure and the couple left each other...the lady  had never thought in dreams to under go such hardships without any support!!

... Today when I think of those parents who are no more  and this couple who never got back together.. happiness never came back to their door ,they are legally divorced and this man is a big alcoholic and the lady is making both ends meet to keep her bread n butter intact...its like problems all over the place.

they lost all they had and never got  anything again...they never got any blessings,,,and their parents  left the world with a heavy heart .....

This guy was beside his parents during death,,said sorry many times but ...no words could ease the pain given to them and insult they had to face in the society.

today when I see this family in-front of me suffering ,it hurts me... scares me more.. how the blessings work...what happens when we we hurt our own parents and insult them..."this is the end result" ..

I met this unfortunate family few days back...which made me write this post.

..the whole idea of telling you this story is ..please ..be kind to your parents and in-laws..

if the relationships don't work try to get into a solution which helps in both ways and keeps up the honour of your parents too ,try balancing your relationships with parents and wife both!

otherwise...this is what happens when we fail to get the blessings!!

love or arranged???

Talking of love marriage or arranged marriage??which is better.. there has been lot of debates..on this issue..talking to one of my friends Kate yesterday..who asked me ..how did I meet my hubby??? when I told her about arranged marriage she started asking me all kinds of questions ..as to her it was kinda ..something new.. being a Chinese female ..this concept was new to her..

Kate.. who is twenty one years old ,married a Chinese guy of thirty eight years,as she told me and they met each other on a street ..as he lived a block away from her house.. ...they came to US..later as both of them come from a poor family and US was a boon for them ... they now run a salon and can afford all which they never thought of would be in their native place..

I asked Kate ..why did she marry an older guy .. if it was a kinda street love?;).. as Kate is a beautiful gurl and Steven her husband is kind of not so good ..looking guy.. ..she said ,love is Blind.. Well... I have no answer to that..!!!

talking of love marriage ..where marriage as per our own choice and we know exactly whats coming inn ,we cannot blame parents and have a fair chance to know a person better ..and even in a way to go ahead or not..

When two people are in love, they are at their best to impress the other person.they are at their best behaviour and project a lot of things that they are actually not. Our society is structured that way we are expected to be polite in public. It takes a while between couples to shed the veil. Most of the time, even after going out for a few years, when we actually live together, we are in for surprises. ...
Considering issue of love marriage where the couples .... who have solemnized love marriage would have to tackle all their crises on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. Resentment drives the parents and the relatives to remain dormant in case the married couple wants any financial or moral support - a common sight seen in love marriages in India. Due to this factor, many people do not want to marry without their parent's consent, because they would be ultimately cut off from the family ties.... Talking of arranged marriage where success rate of marriage is more compared to love marriage as there is strong support of parents and any kinda problem ..the whole family is ready to solve the matter....and put the couple back... ..... .... It is said that compromise is a factor that decides whether the marriage would work out or not. In case of love marriage, people might expect more from their partner, largely because they have fallen in love before marriage. This leads to lesser compromises, as the person expects more from his/her partner.... On the other hand, compromise and adjustments forms the foundation of arranged marriage, largely because the married couple does not have any preconceived notions or expectations from one another. The compromise factor might work wonders in case of most of the arranged marriages, while in love marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for altercation. Due to this factor, people consider arranged marriage as long lasting and better than love marriage. ....Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule.....However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option..... Most of the time out of peer pressure ..or influence of friends, people are lured and want to get into pitfall..When I was studying in Punjab university Chandigarh.. gurls ended up having affairs and get into marriage leaving their studies .. as love was predominant factor at that age... Bollywood movies ..makes every gurl dream of prince which gets them into love marriage....
Being a very liberal person... to me a good family and a nice person is more important whether its love or arranged marriage... basically what matters is love and respect for each other... which comes from family values.. what we are ,will be taught to our kids... as it will be passed over to generations... ..I always defy divorces which are very common due to lack of respect and trust... ...
.....I was at store ..shopping as usual.. I heard an argument and turned back to see.. a guy yelling at his wife ..with all sorts of names ,an American female.. I assume that was her Ex-husband .. she was in tears..in front of everyone ..and then from her cell ..called 911(police) ... the guy.. slammed the door and ran..away... I think when thay took the vows ..it was all lovey dovey.. but.. now the situation was in front of the whole world..basically infatuation or attraction gets blurred ..after a while... Its only love , respect and trust ..that counts.. ...in any kind of marriage!!!!
LOVE OR ARRANGED