favours.

....I never understood this mentality or mental people who never hesitate and ask for favours .....you might have chatted with them just for few hrs in the whole year and do not know them personally But its strange when they say

*"hey Harman you can arrange a sponsorship for me to visit US,I will be so thankful"
I am like"hello do I really know you? its not possible I cant do that ..sorry about that"

*Friend"you know what ,I had heard that all Indians when they migrate to US ,UK or Canada or any other foreign country their blood also gets white in colour  just like snow...

*...Me"ok (whatever...crap)"

next one...another sample

*friend "hey how r u? can I ask you a favour plz plz...."

*Me.."ya go ahead ..what kinda favour??"

*Friend "you have a defence background ,could you please tell your dad that I want his Army canteen card to get some stuff on subsidised rates as it is very expensive in India hard to survive in this inflation...(these are those people who love their motherland)"

*Me"hey...are you ok? my dad will never do that or misuse the card ok ,Got it!"

*Friend"...ok ,a friend in need is a friend indeed ..I guess you don't fit in that slot.

*Me...Well I don't need to....


..I am not a people pleaser when it comes to breaking all the set of rules and going overboard.
Pleasing others and ignoring your own needs can affect your relationships with people, the things you do, the way you talk and more importantly the choices that you make in life. It can ultimately drain you emotionally and physically and even lead you to depression.
I was a people pleaser one time .....

I remember I was asked for help ...and I couldn't get it done due to legal hassles for which 
I felt bad that I didn't say the word "NO" and resentful that the favour was a lot of extra work and time that I didn't have to spare. I feel angry and resentful at the friend for asking such favour's from me and at times I feel they are taking advantage of my kindness and the fact that I can't say no. Over time, I end up avoiding the friend altogether when the real problem is with me. It is an endless cycle of people pleasing. I don't always say it and admit it but I do let people take advantage of me. By always doing favours for others what I don't want to do and going out of my way to make others happy and ignoring my own needs, I am just leaving the door open for others to take advantage and manipulate me.which I dont want to do it now.
Since I am a mother, I know it's okay and I feel happy when I put the needs of my children before my own. However, when I constantly put the needs of others in front of my own - there's the problem. I mean well but if you're anything like me, your actions are sure to eventually lead you to anger and resentment. The solution to people pleasing is SELF EMPOWERMENT. You can't change other people but you can work on yourself.

memorial day....

its a memorial day weekend...
I could see people happy and glad ,three days altogether with fun and leisure time to spend with family..its quite outside ,no traffic probably people are out of town and spending time in Toronto or Chicago or places close to Michigan.
We have relatives from California, Chicago and Virginia..its fun ..we hired a boat and took  a stroll in lake ...its like a family reunion only my cousin from Canada Winnipeg is missing ...rest everyone is here....
six kids in all,one is always crying at one particular time ...its fun to see men talking about indian politics and ladies about  Indian film industry ;) most of the time discussion is on food ....we Punjabi's are big time foodies ...
last night ..after Domino's sandwiches everyone craved for indian Punjabi food I was surprised how much we can eat when we are together ....everyone was very guilty after eating so much ..but didn't stop ..had an ice cream later which was from Indian grocery store jus  like ...street made ice cream of India (desi style)
..today morning when I came down stairs everybody was up and into exercises ,walking or jogging some were complaining headaches ..maybe hangover from last night ...tonight we have a special party ...in honour of my hubby's cousin who turned thirty this year ...so everyone is trying their best to look good  ....and then couple dance tonight ...hope it turns out good!
...I have a song for this weekend which is one of my favourites...some memories from past ,check this out!

happy long weekend.

Car Wash..

..I have been little busy these days with summer and guests at home so could not  write a lot,but summers brings us lot of sunshine in life and some fun activities which is at time amusing to see...
Car wash nowadays has been used as fund raising for school going kids ..they use the money in school and in return get credits which can be used in college for their enrolment and future development...its a noble act to help and get help in return for which we all look forward...
today at my work watching out of the window I was could see some teenagers standing on the side walk with bikinis and asking for car wash ....for which there was lot of honking on the road,probably guys were doing that....and some cars actually stopped ..may be for car wash....It was fun to see all this!
other day I was goin with my hubby and we stopped at the gas station (no ,not for car wash)I was amazed how dedicated these girls are and how people seem to be so civilised sitting in the cars and getting it cleaned...patiently without any stares...
......
this is very common scene now days...fund raising for school...I have clicked few pictures to show my friends and also how  Michigan is known for its scenic beauty ..where bollywood shoots are specially done in up-north (UP) its jus like ...oil paintings made by God.....

the whole street has white flowers.

misinterpreted!

..my blogs are usually my experience of interacting with different people ,my colleagues ,my friends ,strangers and even bloggers whom I know or even unknown...I have written my previous post on Cash or kids and there were lot of discussions on that....my views are my own and if anybody disagrees its nothing to get upset its just a discussion ,not everybody is right and my opinion is not to upset anyone or be rude...and c'mmon its just a voice over net nothing personal.
.....being a mother ..I can never advocate that a women should not have any kids , enjoy without bringing happiness to the family you are married to...
..I remember my mom always said "A women is never complete unless she is into motherhood"
...I am sorry if I have been rude to anyone!

The punjabi royal wedding .

......think if royal weddings were owned by global Punjabi's...how would it be....

I came across this lovely video ..where the royal family is together and danced like hard core Punjabi's on this  song.

......the song says..

Savere hoye savere darshan....Ajj din vadiyaa languga...tere hoye savere darshan ajj din vadiyaa languga(this morning I had glimpses of  you so my day is blessed)

Sohna mukhda dekh ke tera ,dil bago bagh hoya mera,tenu hath jodh ke aankhan mere dil vich la leh dera....(your beautiful  face made my heart go berserk ,Its a request please stay in my heart forever....)

Savere hoye savere darshan ajj din vadiyaa languga,tere hoye savere darshan ajj din vadiyaa languga(this morning I had glimpses you so my day is blessed)

koi karma wala ishq tere de rang vich rango ga,savere hoye savere darshan ajj din vadiyaa languga...(some lucky person will be be getting into this colour of love ,this morning ..I had those glimpses my day is blessed)

very well made video..and they look alike the royal family!

Mac Donald!

I think I have to eat this ..patato pattie when I land on Delhi air port!
the commercial says
girl: are we boy friend ,girl friend?
boy:No.
girl:why?
boy:girls are very demanding I want this I want that,I candle handle this!!
Girl :but I just want Mac patato pattie
Boy :looking at the change in his pocket agrees to buy a Mac Donald vegetable burger for the girl!

a very cute commercial!

cash or kids!

thanks everyone...I am feeling much better now! I had to make a trip to Doc...got some good prescription ...and feeling better...
but I did take my friends piece of advice...vodka with orange juice...and some good shots to keep Allergies at bay:D
 now.......

(my son Kevin 2yrs old)

 Cash or kids

......going through a conversation with one of my friends at work ..I was surprised when she said ..I don't want to have any kids !!it will spoil my career for at-least two years..I will be out of modelling world..and getting back to work and shape is something I cant afford as a new-comer.
she is not the only one But  there are many not in  favour of having any kids !is it due to expenses incurred to raise  kids?
To have kids or no kids is a personal choice it can be either CASH or KIDS...
with kids we have to think  in monetary terms too..Cause,to raise one kid it needs all efforts and money ...not to forget when they grow up their university expenses and basic needs,,,,But then if we all think like that and jus concentrate on money or careers and having no kids don't you think we are selfish? or we at some point jus want a life for our self....vacations ,huge bank balances ,mess free houses ..no worries about kids or their future!!
we were brought to this world by our parents who made every effort ..to share their love ,money and every thing they had with us ..and still they share even though we have our own kids?where is the dilemma? or is it  a self-centred
 person who talks like that!

My hubby who  has a Boss who is in the office at 5;30 Am sharp ..and keeps an eye on other engineers and staff ..
I asked my hubby "how come he is never late and always at work"?
my hubby said"this Guy has no kids ..they are like fifty years or so..both of them are holding(his boss and his wife)executive positions in different companies and they sleep around eight and had made a decision to keep life simple and easy!!
..do you think they will need no help or any emotional support when they reach old age? or their decision is good?
....
..this Indian  married couple we met ...they had married each other on this agreement that they will never have kids they just want to keep it simple and easy going.
when we asked why that so? their reply was"it s lots of effort and money to raise one kid and one partner has to sacrifice their career in raising the kid for at least year or so and then we are not fond of kids"
People like them will have money for charities ,adopt pets or take vacations they will have all material luxuries ..and they try to bring happiness in the world.....But a guy with family will try to spend time at home take his wife and kids ..and keep himself happy and try to raise a responsible citizen for future and growth of the nation.
you never know who is the future president or player or artist raised in which family which bring accolades to the nation.
There can be a debate for ever and no end to this...I have kids and I am very fond of kids  ..to me its a good experience to raise and educate the children to be responsible future citizens and it also has its own charm to see little ones moving ,sleeping and talking in their own language ..they are adorable ...and can never be a pain for any mother.
Rest is personal choice!