A true story...(chapter one)

.....There are innumerable incidents that have taken place ..and so much to learn from every incident ..One very close to my heart is this story...in those days..Dad was posted in Mumbai.... we lived in an apartment.. close to sion area..near Sion hospital ..very close to my school.. .. ..Next to our complex ..was Avantika Apartments..a huge complex.. we knew a lady named Mrs Neha Anand.,moms friend ...an educated women may be in her late fifties had two sons and two daughters ..all of them were married..she was..older to my mom but very pleasant and helpful women,her husband was a TV actor worked in Indian soaps.. ..
One day ,Mrs Anand was sitting in her library ,reading a book..next to a window... as she looked out of the window a thirteen or fourteen year old kid ,a rag picker ..was picking up some trash and stuffing it up in her dirty sack..she was light skin sharp featured gurl ,with hair like rope and wearing a dirty shirt with pants ,no shoes or slippers...
she opened the window and asked the gurl ,what are you picking up?
the gurl was scared..
she said..its just bits of hair ..we pick and sell it,they make wigs out of it..nothing else ,you can check my sack,she was scared..
.. mrs Anand told her to see her on the front door.. .As she opened the door.. the gurl was there ..
Mrs anand.. whats your name?
gurl..Taaro
Mrs anand ..where do you live?
taaro..Slums
Mrs anand ..do you go to school? do you have parents??
Taaro....no school ,we are ten siblings ,very poor we make our money by selling trash...
Mrs anand ..do you want to study ,go to school and make your life better..???
taaro .. haanji..(yes) can you help me?
Mrs anand .. sure,call your parents, tomorrow ,,and I will talk to them... .
.the gurl was very excited and said she will bring her parents tomorrow.. left the door and touched Mrs anands feet..as a mark of respect..
she blessed her.. and closed the door... ....Nobody showed up..
..what do you think?? did the gurl come back???
......(will continue..in nxt blog) ......

Money..matters!!!

“money is necessary to live”. But how much money is truly needed?it depends on the life an individual desires. It can be food clothing and shelter, or as extravagant as luxury houses and all the fine things....Many are born and very fortunate with money all around when they come to this world ,its inherited money but most of us work hard and earn by working hours even night shifts to support our self or our families for good and comfortable living.... when people say I don't want money or money doesn't matter its an absolute lie ..I wanna ask those people ..do you wanna be saint or monk...living in hills .... money is important..end of the day everybody wants a home and good food to eat.. forget all other luxuries..Money motivates a person..encourages to show better results and succeed in life... many a times confidence is built with cash in hand.. All basic Amenities are with money...if we don't have a single penny..survival is difficult.. ....I was very fortunate growing up as I was able to enjoy the finer things in life. I always wore good clothes, ate at nice restaurants, and was able to travel ... never seen financial crisis...But many in this world are not that fortunate... I remember an incident ..we were expecting some guests ..a couple ,when we were in India...they were suppose to come inn on weekend ,but didn't show up,we called ..but there was no reply...they arrived two days later to our place..when we asked them,they had a story to tell...They were travelling by train and on their way at a remote area in uttarpradesh at a station,train stopped his wife stepped out to throw some apple peels ..and she saw ..kids fighting for apple peels.. looking for leftover food in the garbage..they were so hungry and seemed like hadn't seen food from many days....So the couple decided to stay overnight at a guest house on railway station ..and feed hungry kids by buying enough food from the station canteen to help them for at least two days...so much desperation for food wasn't seen by them before... ... life.. gives up without money... SO..before throwing food,think about people who cannot afford one meal a day... Like in Detroit (Michigan )we can see lot of people standing near the Canadian border asking for help with boards in their hands "I am hungry"..or "Help Me" Talking of money ...I am talking about basic needs..food clothing and shelter,devoid of other luxuries... since money gets us into routine to work ,go out meet people ,improve our knowledge and an urge to learn something new.. Happiness cannot be termed as money..its not necessary that we ought to have lots of money to be happy.. Money is only a tool to assist with our lifestyle but it is not the source of our happiness. Focus on being happy, and you will suddenly find that you have enough money....sometimes people loose their family life....to earn more and more..and end up getting nothing in life just big fat bank balance... ......Not too long ago I heard a story about a man who chose to work the long hard hours in order to live an extravagant life when he retired. This man was in his mid 50’s and has lived his past 30 years in an office behind a desk. He thought it would be well worth while as he pictured him and his wife traveling the world with no financial concerns in their future. Unfortunately, this man was diagnosed with cancer years before he ever thought of retiring. He did not survive this tragic disease, and left his family with money, but not many memories as he was always working so hard. This man was also never able to enjoy what he had earned as he focused too much on his future..... If we don't understand our relationship to money in this culture, then I think we're doomed. If you don't know how you are toward money and really understand that relationship, you simply don't know yourself. Period. ...."I don't like money very much, but it calms my nerves." Money makes us unjustifiably feel that we're better and more important than we really are. When money can make you feel humble, then I think it's really useful. But if it fattens your ego, which it often does, then look out....ITS NOT REAL MONEY.. Stinking rich ...millionaires are everywhere,The incredible pace of change triggered by modern technology has affected how people acquire wealth. There's no precedent in human experience for the speed, scale, or age at which people today can get incredibly wealthy. When everything is quick, fast and easy, a certain part of ourselves is fed while another part withers away..... To conclude...money is one important part that runs the world but at personal level.. with every good thing ,evils are attached... recently..Tiger woods (golf player)..who makes like 100 million ..was caught cheating his wife..and news flashed everywhere .... though later he agreed and apologized for his adultery... ..but respect or dignity cannot be purchased....with lots of money...

Lohri...A festival...

Happy lohri to all of you...
When we came to US... with us we brought our rich culture and heritage,even though living here in America where I think people all over the world have come to make their living ,America known as land of opportunities, conspicuous it might sound...but every religion celebrate their festival here...Sikhs in America, a large population celebrates lohri every year ...with zest and vigour,though it usually at weekends when we have parties and get together as per our busy working schedules...
Lohri is little different compared to India where Logs of wood are piled together for a bonfire, and friends and relatives gather around it. They go around the fire three times, giving offerings of popcorns, peanuts, rayveri and sweets. Then, to the beat of the dhol (traditional Indian drum), people dance around the fire. Prasad of til, peanuts, rayveri, puffed rice, popcorn, gajak or till patti and sweets is distributed. This symbolizes a prayer to Agni for abundant crops and prosperity....
......In America we are not suppose to have a big bonfire like India as per US laws and safety hazards as houses here are made of wood , piles of snow makes it even more difficult ...to have a bonfire with freezing rain and temperature being in single digit...its impossible ... so we generally use the fire place and follow the tradition ..in the same manner.. ..
Last year we threw a lohri party ..it was at banquet hall and theme of lohri was exhibited everywhere with phulkari and baskets of all kinds chikki.. .popcorns, peanuts, rayverion on each table with a small candle in the form of bonfire... and all the guests were given baskets of lohri sweets at the end of the party.. ..yes we also sang traditional lohri song..before using a bon fire...
.....Who was dulha bhatti? ....Legendary stories are associated with the brave Dulha Bhatti. He used to rob rich to help the poor and needy. It is believed that Dullah had restored the prestige of an innocent girl whose modesty was outraged by a wealthy Zamindar. There are various versions of the actual story. Some traditions say that Dullah had adopted this girl as his daughter and arranged her marriage in the Jungles of ‘Saandal Bar’. As there was no priest nearby to chant the Vedic Hymns and solemnize the marriage Dullah had lit a bonfire and composed an impromptu song, “Sunder Mundriye Tera Kaun Vichara ! Dullah Bhatti Wala Ho! Dullaeh Di Teeh Viahi Ho! Ser Shakar Payi !”
The bride and the groom were asked to take pheras of the bonfire as Dullah sang this hilarious song...... ....First Lohri is very important for the newly wed and the new born babies as it marks fertility.... During the day, children go from door to door singing folk songs in praise of Dulha Bhatti.... These children are given sweets and savories, and occasionally, money. These collections are known as Lohri, and they are distributed at night during the festival. Some may be offered to the sacred fire. Peanuts, popcorn and other food items are also thrown into the fire as an offering to the God of Fire...
To me the best part of lohri is the winter of India with bonfire to give warmth and sweets along as a treat..which I always looked forward as a teenager...later a festive dinner with cousins and sitting all night with all other going to bed and we atl east a gang of ten to fifteen.. laughing all night at every single joke ..disturbing everyone,I remember once it was a lohri night and we had our regular session of talking and laughing ,one of my uncle who came out of his room at four am ,literally folding his hands as a request to sleep and let them sleep too.......
was very hilarious...... The most famous dish from Punjab,North India. Bread(Roti) made out of corn flour and "Saag" is made out of Mustard Leaves.Home made butter is added for extra flavour

love or arranged???

Talking of love marriage or arranged marriage??which is better.. there has been lot of debates..on this issue..talking to one of my friends Kate yesterday..who asked me ..how did I meet my hubby??? when I told her about arranged marriage she started asking me all kinds of questions ..as to her it was kinda ..something new.. being a Chinese female ..this concept was new to her..

Kate.. who is twenty one years old ,married a Chinese guy of thirty eight years,as she told me and they met each other on a street ..as he lived a block away from her house.. ...they came to US..later as both of them come from a poor family and US was a boon for them ... they now run a salon and can afford all which they never thought of would be in their native place..

I asked Kate ..why did she marry an older guy .. if it was a kinda street love?;).. as Kate is a beautiful gurl and Steven her husband is kind of not so good ..looking guy.. ..she said ,love is Blind.. Well... I have no answer to that..!!!

talking of love marriage ..where marriage as per our own choice and we know exactly whats coming inn ,we cannot blame parents and have a fair chance to know a person better ..and even in a way to go ahead or not..

When two people are in love, they are at their best to impress the other person.they are at their best behaviour and project a lot of things that they are actually not. Our society is structured that way we are expected to be polite in public. It takes a while between couples to shed the veil. Most of the time, even after going out for a few years, when we actually live together, we are in for surprises. ...
Considering issue of love marriage where the couples .... who have solemnized love marriage would have to tackle all their crises on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. Resentment drives the parents and the relatives to remain dormant in case the married couple wants any financial or moral support - a common sight seen in love marriages in India. Due to this factor, many people do not want to marry without their parent's consent, because they would be ultimately cut off from the family ties.... Talking of arranged marriage where success rate of marriage is more compared to love marriage as there is strong support of parents and any kinda problem ..the whole family is ready to solve the matter....and put the couple back... ..... .... It is said that compromise is a factor that decides whether the marriage would work out or not. In case of love marriage, people might expect more from their partner, largely because they have fallen in love before marriage. This leads to lesser compromises, as the person expects more from his/her partner.... On the other hand, compromise and adjustments forms the foundation of arranged marriage, largely because the married couple does not have any preconceived notions or expectations from one another. The compromise factor might work wonders in case of most of the arranged marriages, while in love marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for altercation. Due to this factor, people consider arranged marriage as long lasting and better than love marriage. ....Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule.....However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option..... Most of the time out of peer pressure ..or influence of friends, people are lured and want to get into pitfall..When I was studying in Punjab university Chandigarh.. gurls ended up having affairs and get into marriage leaving their studies .. as love was predominant factor at that age... Bollywood movies ..makes every gurl dream of prince which gets them into love marriage....
Being a very liberal person... to me a good family and a nice person is more important whether its love or arranged marriage... basically what matters is love and respect for each other... which comes from family values.. what we are ,will be taught to our kids... as it will be passed over to generations... ..I always defy divorces which are very common due to lack of respect and trust... ...
.....I was at store ..shopping as usual.. I heard an argument and turned back to see.. a guy yelling at his wife ..with all sorts of names ,an American female.. I assume that was her Ex-husband .. she was in tears..in front of everyone ..and then from her cell ..called 911(police) ... the guy.. slammed the door and ran..away... I think when thay took the vows ..it was all lovey dovey.. but.. now the situation was in front of the whole world..basically infatuation or attraction gets blurred ..after a while... Its only love , respect and trust ..that counts.. ...in any kind of marriage!!!!
LOVE OR ARRANGED

WATER!

I always wanted to write ..a blog on water.. seeing its significance and our busy life schedule ,sometimes we are more mechanised and run on aerated water causing health issues... The most important ingredient in human life..If I am thirsty ..its only water that will quench my thirst .. to me .. life runs on water. Water is a major component of every body cell, tissue and organ. It plays an important role in almost every body function, most of our body is made of water... Today’s lifestyle and the soft drinks penetration in the markets has made the much sought after drink in the back burner....In earlier times, people used to walk a lot and after a long walk have 2-3 glasses of water. my grandfather always said that..nothin like water... Water was a drink which people consumed in great quantities and never complained of ailments that we do now. .....dehydration can cause serious damage as water also provides oxygen to brain..symptoms of fatigue can also be termed as lack of hydration in the body...I prefer water to any other drink or juice..even at parties... It helps to stay active and remove toxins giving an added glow..to skin..and off course to life too... Many a times I see people drinking water only when they are thirsty like in winters generally only during meals ..but eight glasses a day is considered to be healthy.. starting my day with a an eight ounce glass of Luke warm water is my general habit since last so many years... During exercise or in gym I usually finish my two litre bottle in an hour .. it helps body to stay active, refresh mind...I usually prefer chilled water during exercising ..as it helps in better workout... The vast majority aren't drinking enough water to begin with and to make matters worse, many don't realize that beverages containing alcohol and caffeine actually rob the body of water." (. People just assume that their body is hydrated with the coke that they drank for lunch and the beer from after work. The key to feeling the effects of water is to begin drinking and to drink continuously throughout the day.... important reasons ..

• It regulates body temperature.
• Makes up 83% of blood.
• Composes 75% of brain.
• Moistens oxygen for breathing
• Helps convert food into energy
• Protects and cushions vital organs
• Helps body absorbs nutrients
• Makes up 75% of muscles
• Cushions joints
• Accounts for 22% of brain
• Removes waste

Painful joints a signal of water shortage. It can affect the young as well as the old. The use of painkillers does not cure the problem, but exposes the person to further damage from pain medications. Intake of water will cure this problem to a certain extent....

• Benefit of drinking water to prevent and treat Depression: hydration helps the body naturally replenish its supply ...
  

• Benefit of drinking water to prevent and treat Sleep disorders: hydration is needed for the production of nature's sleep regulator...
  

• Benefit of drinking water to prevent and treat Lack of energy: water generates electrical and magnetic energy in every body cell, providing a natural power boost....

• Benefit of drinking water to prevent and treat Attention Deficit: a well hydrated brain is continually energized to imprint new information in its memory banks....

On average, the human brain weights 1.4 Kilograms (about 3 pounds). It is estimated that the brain consists of 85% water. The brain is extremely sensitive to water loss. It is said that the brain cannot tolerate even a 1% loss of water. If it were to be dehydrated to the point of being only 84% water for long, the brains would not function properly. (Remember that nerve cells in the brain are one-time-living units. They don't multiply like other cells in the body and don't regenerate). Dehydration can cause damage in the blood vessels in the brain, leading to bleeding and plaques, which are at the base of most neurological disorders like multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's disease.
Recently I had an eye examination. The doctor told me that our cornea is 80% water. Working long hours on the computer makes the eyes dry. Just closing the eyes for a few seconds every hour and blinking frequently allows liquid from the tear glands to moisturize and lubricate the cornea. He also recommended regular drinking of water for good eye health... .......To lose the excess fluids, you may need to drink MORE water. Dehydration can cause the body to retain fluid that will be released as you drink more water. The goal is to keep lots of fluid flowing through your body. To do this, drink more water along with salt intake... Benefits of water are endless.. we need to have awareness and add it as an important ingredient in life...leave all other drinks and stick to water during ..before and after meals...
I am sure you wanna have a glass of water now!!
WATER FOR LIFE!!!

CIRcle!!

Back to Circle after ten days of awesome time spent with family... getting up at ten in the morning and sleeping at one am ..watching movies,my hubby on friday got whole bunch of Hindi movies before going back to work ,Three idiots,kurbaan,rocket Singh...he wanted me to see Kurbaan but..I knew the story so wanted to avoid the cruelty shown ..and jus saw "Three Idiots"..Aamir khan .. Time magazine refers to him as the Indian 'Sean Penn'... he did a wonderful job again. He who has given all time classics in past few years....one of my favorite bollywood actors.. ...a fine artist..
...shopping and hopping ..in the stores ,back and forth during holidays was favourite pass time.. ....looking at the winter collection all new styles...and colors ..updating my wardrobe with matching coats and scarf's...
Cooking all kinds of food..during holidays..spent some good time in kitchen..with all time favorite Indian punjabi food.. from tandoori..or baked chicken to..mutton with rumali..rotis ... vegetarian dishes.. everything was just fun..kids were happy with all kinds of treats...
Cleaning bug ...keeping everything organised ..and back to place ...spic and span... shining ...the cleaning bug hit me hard....
Chatting...nope.. absolutely ..A big No ..in holidays..jus checking messages and deleting all crappy stuff ..another big job keeping my accounts ..neat and clean...
On Sunday.. we decided to take his blessings ..so went to Gurudwara .. and sat there for some time ..Gurudwara sahib at Michigan .."Hidden Falls"a huge seven million property more like a seven star.. with a huge reception..all marble floors ..accented ..burgundy walls.. beautiful ceilings and Guru Granth sahib ji..amidst of all..Awesome!!The whole area is well lighted ..outer area is landscaped very well with white flower trees and a big parking lot ... The Sikh community had given huge donations for this property.. from cash to gold...Needles to say its one of the best gurudwaras in USA... ...
....last night it hit me hard when it synced inn that I have to get up at six am..so to speed up things made dinner very fast,ate early ..and got things done for ..(my seven yr old) school ..as it is "back to school" too... The holidays are nice: we take off some time, eat some great food and generally get a break from the routine. But the holidays don’t last forever. It can be tempting to fall into a holiday routine that keeps going well after the last present is opened... In fact, January is probably one of the worst months for many people. The stress of going back to work and getting kids back to school can cause more anxiety too....
So with an alarm..got up..it was snowing..with piles of snow on my car... got ready..with snow shoes..jacket..gloves ..cap...scarf all bundled up.. heated up the car... my hubby who left at five am in the morning.. meeting with china guys..as clash of time with china he leaves five am every monday....I took the car out-of the drive way..it was skidding,left the kid on the bus..stop..with his friends and started to my work with motivation..
2010..New Year..lets try to give a jump-start..to stagnant economy....and hope..to make this year a fruitful one.....back to Circle..square one!!!

happy..nEW Year..2010

..Last night party at friends place..saying good bye to 2009 and welcoming 2010.. usually every year we have a family get together ,but this year ..since none of the family members were there.. as mom and dad have gone for a wedding to India..and my brother in law ..has gone to New york with family and kids ..we were left with our aunt and uncle ..who accompanied us to the party...as they are our commons friends ..it was fun though ...with dinner and couple dance... Sitting there I thought every new thing is celebrated ...it brings a hope and joy.. without any fear... every year ceremoniously we celebrate and welcome New year..But what significance does it have otherwise then an end of the year...
The beginning of spring is a logical time to start a new year. ....After all planting new crops, and of blossoming....
January 1, on the other hand, has no astronomical nor agricultural significance. It is purely arbitrary. NEW YEAR TRADITIONS.....
Other traditions of the season include the making of New Year's resolutions. Popular modern resolutions might include the promise to lose weight or quit smoking. The early age.. most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment or money...
FOR LUCK IN THE NEW YEAR
Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. For that reason, it has become common for folks to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year's Day would bring either good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man. We ate grapes ..twelve each served in bowls immediately after new year according to Spanish tradition..it brings good luck to start with fresh Green grapes.. ......Traditional New Year foods are also thought to bring luck. Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck.....because it symbolizes "coming full circle," completing a year's cycle. For that reason, the Dutch believe that eating donuts on New Year's Day will bring good fortune.

Spain

The Spanish ritual on New Year's eve is to eat twelve grapes at midnight. The tradition is meant to secure twelve happy months in the coming year.

The Netherlands

The Dutch burn bonfires of Christmas trees on the street and launch fireworks. The fires are meant to purge the old and welcome the new.

Greece

In Greece, New Year's day is also the Festival of St. Basil, one of the founders of the Greek Orthodox Church. One of the traditional foods served is Vassilopitta, or St Basil's cake. A silver or gold coin is baked inside the cake. Whoever finds the coin in their piece of cake will be especially lucky during the coming year...

United States

Probably the most famous tradition in the United States is the dropping of the New Year ball in Times Square, New York City, at 11:59 P.M. .....Thousands gather to watch the ball make its one-minute descent, arriving exactly at midnight..... The tradition first began in 1907. The original ball was made of iron and wood; the current ball is made of Waterford Crystal, weighs 1,070 pounds, and is six feet in diameter......A traditional southern New Year's dish is Hoppin' John—black eyed peas and ham hocks. An old saying goes, "Eat peas on New Year's day to have plenty of everything the rest of the year..and I dont like green peas..

The Indian New Year is popularly known as the festival of Deepawali or DiwaliI jus love Dipawali.... This festival is celebrated for five days as it marks the beginning of the Hindu New Year. It is one of the most widely celebrated festivals all over India. Deepawali signifies the end of the previous year and the start of a New Year. Deepawali is one of the most cheerful festivals of India that is enjoyed by people to the fullest. This festival of Deepawali, that makes a start for New Year symbolizes victory of good over evil. People make a lot of preparations for this Indian New Year, like they decorate their houses with fresh flowers, exchange gifts with relatives and friends, buy new clothes, enjoy get-together with their near and dear ones, and lot of other activities are a part of this colorful Indian New Year festival... last but not the least... happiness and prosperity ....can make every single day..a NEW YEAR....
..........................HAPPY NEW YEAR.............................