An Era has passed.

...living in a world where everything is going at high speed ..looking back it seems like an era has passed....
 sitting on breakfast table today Dad asked " did you see that era when we had jus" Dalda "ghee and pranthas fried in that?(morning breakfast)I smiled and said ..I had eaten that stuff :P and when first time Refined oil was introduced a better and healthier version ..in "postman "brand  people rejected it out-rightly saying ..it has some kinda smell in it and doesn't taste that good :P ... but for health reasons later it was accepted and gradually we had many other cooking oils in the kitchen ..
.... then I had seen those pump stoves which took lives of many women ..was very inconvenient and worked with kerosene oil... those days there were no gas stoves or ranges .. it was "Anghiti "which use to work with charcoal.. (these are antique pieces now)... women used all her strength to make food for family working from scratch... I had seen my aunt who lived in small village doing  lot of work getting up early in the morning starting her day with prayer ..feeding the animals and then heating up the kitchen ...
( today women doesn't believe in cooking )
...  men were given breakfast and they went to fields for farming and work.. life was tough ..no entertainment as televisions or computer ...radio had some kind of songs ... people slept early and woke up early.. miles of walking or cycling was natural exercise as if going to gym ..drinking  lots of water kept them hydrated..
...Going to a city was considered a big thing ..and people who came from city behaved like kings in villages ..
some of the old Indian movies depicts everything..

I sometimes feel .. growing up in a city and then traveling with dad all over India I had seen from worst to best...I remember my dad was posted in jodhpur ..(rajasthan) being a desert area where there is scarcity of water... every week there use to be tanker coming to our house to water the lawn and plants .. people from nearby places use to line up outside our house saying "saab thoda paani bhar leen" (sir can we get some water?)water was given to people first and then  lawn was watered and everyone went back happily ... I always wondered why necessity has a scarcity? ... (can humans live without water?)
posted in Mumbai ..flashy lifestyle with lights all over and city of stars ..its was one of its kind .. nothing compared to Delhi where dad was posted earlier..  every place has its own flavor...and smell :P
... small towns like bhuj and kota ..were exceptionally different When I look back and remember Army life spent with dad ..and now living out of the country I feel that was a very short span ..a dream .. like a "baby's day out " but an Era has passed.

Today I m in US where I see everything in abundance ... BUT
scarcity of love in relationships!

God keeps every place balanced I guess!

FOR WHT??

I am surprised by these bollywood stars ,, marriage ,divorce then remarry then divorce ..MAN wht the F***
old haggard looks and father of teenage kids getting married to another B**** who is also old .. has been seasoned ..GOSH!!and look at their parents and their statements ..." it s gonna be Manish Malhotra's outfit..its stunning and blah blah blah.."Hello ..will the outfit make a difference? they need to be graceful at this age.. A buddha(old man) marrying a buddhi..(old women).. both of them have been changing partners like anything,,, look at the mature skin...(kareena and saif)
.... Karishma Kapoor ,sister of Kareena Kapoor got divorced ,her husband was an divorcee earlier he married Karishma kapoor (bollywood star) and now he is marrying some other divorcee (Vikram chatwals )wife..vikram chatwal is marrying some blonde now
and this blonde  I assume is again a divorcee...
God!!..wht a confusion... how will they ever face each other in parties ..if  they ever met... AND whos wife is married to whom? getting married again and again FOR WHT?
Its a shame on the name of marriage and the way these people jump in an out of the marriage..

...

..Do looks matter..?part 2

 Sometimes what you see and hear is not exactly as presented it s kinda delusion ..

I generally feel the aggrieved party has some role to play .. before getting hurt .. But case of Raj & kisna everything seemed like kisna was going too fast and took raj for her stride ..but so little I knew .. So I thought of going into more deeper detail knowing why Kisna was so shrewd or is there another person in the picture..

..yesterday I met  that family again...

I asked Raj's mom sitting alone in the porch .. hows everything?

she was little sad and said its all destined I guess ..I dunno why this happened to us.. we are God fearing people..Raj is my only son..I told Raj's mom why don't you talk to girls family back home in India as you come from same town...and this was an arranged marriage.

.. Before moving further with story.. Raj 's parents are not very educated both of them work in a company (night shift)and weekends does catering work from home...  ... Raj is a physio- therapist but right now he has no work is laid-off..

before raj got married ... the parents had high hopes ..thinking one of them will work as both the kids will be professionals so financially they will be better..so Raj's mom can stay at home and help in cooking.. 

but things dint work and girl had her own plans.

... So when I asked Raj's mom ..to talk to kisna's parents she said"..Kisna's Dad says its her wish and we have no say "..But in reality .. they are very poor and her brother had some health issues .. so kisna is sending most of her salary back home .. the same family which was very poor has a better home now and her brother is feeling much better ,,, recently got enrolled in Engineering college... so basically this move she made to get out of the family is to provide shelter and give a better life to her parents and siblings. ... but I said" this could be done here too"she said (rajs mom)she did here too ..sending money back home ..which we dint know .. but then we came to know but still we dint say anything ... but we are her parents too..but it seems its the greed of money that parents have no interest in her personal life .. she is jus 24 yrs and maybe she can remarry  once its all settled back home... according to raj 's mom it seems these dollars helped them a lot.

...I don't know who is wrong here looking at girl (kisna ) and her problems if her family  doesn't have three meals a day .. she maybe right and then  her  sick brother she might need lot of money for his treatment .. and now getting him a professional degree again needs money.. she has sacrificed her own personal life ..its a big thing.....but somewhere I feel when girls get married they have a responsibility towards their in-laws too .. it should be considered as a family too..And people who got him Visa and status .. at-least be obliged .. as this was based on trust.. 

somewhere I feel this could be handled by both partners(husband and wife) in a better way ..and negotiating with each other. ..

it would have kept the family intact...and would have a brighter future...because there is nothing like earning together and helping each other in a family.

Do looks matter?

... I have met this family couple of times.. the son I met ..he's very dark and hefty ...But very pleasant in nature ..kind and courteous ...I met his wife couple of times at first she was very quite and appeared shy to me .

she was working in IT industry as an engineer and came home in the evenings ...I met her but she dint appear pleasant to me.. talking to her mom-in -law one day I asked where kisna is ?? she said" kisna left the house and seem to be not wanting to ever come to this place .. she has her own apartment and job ..she doesn't like us ..I asked what happened ... ?? she said ..she doesn't like my son.. she was kinda little different in attitude .. I asked kisna's mom -in law ..the marriage was her choice?she said yes,, But seems like looking at white skin here in America she despises him now ..
anyways ..I met kisna one day .. she wanted to get some driving lessons and apply for license ..she inquired from me the driving school...I gave her the information ...(driving school run by cops around the corner)..may be everything is okay now I thought... she is happy... But then I came to know she left the house with her baggage .. seems like she wanted to be independent before finally saying good bye..
This family is one of our employees ... and I meet them frequently... when their son had to get married they thought of getting girl from India .. an educated and cultured one, not that American kind .. born n raised here in US ..But this girl was good for two years ..when she was at home but once she got Job and had her money she dint care after that..

Now this guy Raj was trying to improve his looks getting lean ...he is a nice educated person but unfortunately not the killer looks... 
I really feel bad when I see ..he is being rejected on his looks ...do the looks matter that much?
do people change behavior with good/bad looks..
... 
...I asked mom ..the same question... she said" every girl has a dream ..her wants and expectations after marriage,,may be she dint get what she thought of after coming to America "
but then why Ditch? don't get married ... jus wanting to come to US..
why play with other peoples emotions?? do you think this will not come back to you?? .but lemme tell you it will be back in the same way and same form (jus matter of time).. never underestimate others..
  

"he who looks at everyone from top .. will give a befitting reply one day"