when I talk about girls from india getting married here in US ,UK ,Canada ,Australia ..it should be kept in mind that marriage is where you have to spend more time with partner and leave the amenities back home gracefully..
everyone likes and loves their parents its but natural and sense of belongings always lives their in heart but for girls unfortunately she has to make another world of her own with her spouse and family ..and for this it needs time and patience ..sometimes years .. in many cases its hard to go back and forth to meet parents and attend so called friends or relatives and their weddings..
Parents also in this case need to be mature as the first priority is their daughter and her so called in-laws family they need to see she settles down first before moving her back and forth. Many a times parents emotional attachment spoils the whole scene and it leads to friction in the family.
I came across many newly married couples where girls go to meet their parents in india and make their stay comfortable for at least two to three months ..leaving husband back home as he has job and work to do..
The boy is alone home and he with his friends have good time in evening ..moving round to clubs bars and all other entertainment places .. ..both the partners have their own comfort zone now,,
The girl is happy with her parents ..parents are happy to see their daughter ..she spends leisure time with friends and shopping .. not worried of any cooking or cleaning loves india even more then before .. dads little girl has dad s money ..a chauffeur driven car no tension and life is fun for three months,
The boys is happy with friends ,booze and visiting nastiest places .. enjoying every night one or other girl with friends.. he feels free now at least three months..
Now the reality shows up
After three months
The girl is back home ..the house looks deserted and piles of work sitting for her... The husband comes home late night after work .. she feels miserable .. hates foreign land even more .. has no domestic help .. "no maid" and no money to squander ..
there is argument every night as to why not go back home shift to India she can be with mom and dad ..he loves his work and always wanted to settle abroad ..she hates him hates whole damn world ..loves her parents only.. she looks for divorce..
..Trust me this is reality and it happens very often here in US.. parents need to be mature if they want their daughter to be married to Nri then its taken for granted she cannot visit more often and moreover the stay should be not more then three weeks with husband to keep marriage going and peace for everyone
Here I would blame girls more then boys as one needs to understand the term marriage before indulging to a lifetime commitment...
8 comments:
Well, that was SENSIBLE. :)
Nice post.
Harman,
A very factual and sensible post. Hope your advice is understood by all concerned.
Take care
PS : Caught up with all pending posts and left my comments.
Very sensible advice..Today I see many families breaking because of immaturity of girl's parents. In the name of equality, they try to interfere in girls family,make frequent visits, call their daughters very often and in all this , never give enough time to let her settle in her new home.
One can never sail in two boats at a time..
You said it right " as one needs to understand the term marriage before indulging"
But the best part was "no maid" The biggest cribbing that Indians have to crib when abroad.
hope it makes a difference!
hope ..people understand meaning of marriage and commitments ..parents need to be mature and more giving ..when its their own daughter,, rather then b at receiving end ..(giving here means "time ")
This was a neat one Harman with perfect advice:)
Nice
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